Anointed

In the immortal words of the beloved Irish poet Bono: Hello Hello hola hola. I’m elated to join the illustrious ranks of the bloggers no no scratch that out I mean writers no no cross that out too I mean bloggers…bliters?, no that doesn’t work…bloggers. I’ll stick with bloggers.

Take two:

I’m elated to join the illustrious ranks of the bloggers for Baby Got Books. As you may or may not know, for full disclosure’s sake, since we’re all journalists around here and value intergrity, in my former role as Marketing/PR director for Wordsmiths Books, I collaborated with the BGB folks often, so this feels like a natural fit.

This week sees the launch of Wordsmiths’ Zach Steele’s first novel, Anointed: The Passion of Timmy Christ, CEO, published by Sandy Springs, GA’s own Mercury Retrograde Press. It’s a religious satire/comedy/labeled “speculative fiction” by the publisher/labeled “sci-fi/fantasy” by the Publishers Weekly review, concerning itself with the big business of religion. If you like Terry Pratchett or Christopher Moore, Anointed is your cup of tea/coffee/rum. The book officially hits your local Hudson News airport bookstore on March 3, but Wordsmiths will be throwing a typical Wordsmiths-y book launch for Anointed this Saturday, Feb 21st. The whole shebang begins around 7/730-ish, but it’s basically going to be a “show up whenever, start drinking once the drinks show up, eat when the food shows up, and pretend to pay attention to Zach as he reads from his book and make sure you laugh in the appropriate places” sort of thing.

Oh, I should mention: in my new capacity doing freelance book PR, I’m the publicist for Anointed.

Oh, I should also mention: I’m quite good friends with the publisher. Her name’s Barbara. I hear tell she makes mean brownies.

Oh, and also: I’m serving as a sort of “project manager” for the book’s massive online marketing campaign.

Oh, and to quote Steve Jobs at the end of every MacWorld other than this last one: one last thing. I’m the one who brought Anointed to said publisher’s attention. So I kinda acted as the agent? Only, you know, without making a lot of money on the deal and saying “ciao” in that Eddie Izzard voice.

To keep the aforementioned journalistic integrity of myself and the credibility of Baby Got Books intact, I, the publicist for Anointed and former employee of Wordsmiths, did a brief interview with Zach about his book for this book blog right here. So when I say “it’s a hilarious romp through the corporate-driven world of religion and you should buy ten copies and read them all simultaneously”, you know I mean it.

A completely non-biased and properly-punctuated interview with Zachary Steele, author-type person of Anointed: The Passion of Timmy Christ, CEO

Baby Got Books: Describe in 5 words the plot of Anointed. In another 5 words, tell me why i should read it again. Then, in 5 more words, tell someone who hasn’t read it why I should read it again.

Zach Steele:Reluctant man becomes corporate Christ.
Because it’s freakin’ funny, man.
You won’t get it anyway.

BGB: Who all would you say you ripped off in writing Anointed? And by ripped off I mean in terms of both intellectual content and money.

ZS:I ripped off a lot from God, you know. He’s pretty much the author of the Bible, right? So, I have to include him. Aside from the that, it was pretty easy pickings with Terry Pratchett, Christopher Moore, Kyle Watson (though you wouldn’t have heard of him) and some finely-detailed intellectual hotness from Marisha Pessl. As far as money, that’s pretty easy. I ripped off my publisher, but she won’t figure that out for a while, and likely all of my readers (once they’ve read it and realize what dreadful crap it is).

BGB: On a scale of 9 through 10, how awesome is Anointed?

ZS:All of my scales go to 11, so that’s pretty much where I’d put it. It completely redefines “awesome”. In fact, the use of “awesome” is now outdated and has been replaced by “Anointed”. As in, “Man, that sure was an Anointed movie, wasn’t it?” I would wager that, when I am old and fading away–or perhaps even dead already–people will still be discussing how Anointed completely altered the methodology of writing and saved the publishing industry. But I’m pretty modest about it all, actually. I’d rather not discuss it any further.

BGB: If you end up on Bill O’Reilly, and he’s all screaming in your face and cutting your microphone’s signal and stuff without listening to you at all, what will you have for dinner after?

ZS:After? How about during? I’ll be sidestepping his questions while waving a fork in the air and taking my time dining while he rants about stuff I surely won’t be listening to anyway. Steak au Poivre with Dijon Cream Sauce, garlic mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, a nice Chardonnay, and a bowl of cheese to throw at him when he stops talking. No wait. I wouldn’t do that to cheese. Maybe I could get a soufflé or something instead. After, I might go for an Icee.

BGB: In terms of your writing style, what books would you say influenced your second novel? oh wait you haven’t written it yet.

ZS: Ha! Good one coming from the man who hasn’t even written his first book yet! Look out David Sedaris! This guy’s a riot!

BGB: You solicited quotes about the book, aka “blurbs”, from your Facebook friends. Are you just too lazy to actually hunt down famous people?

ZS:”Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ~Winnie the Pooh~ There’s a famous quote for you. Happy?

BGB:Your press materials all begin with “Satan and the Antichrist walk into a bar”. Tell me a good joke about a pope and a rabbi. Or a pope and a rabbit.

ZS:The Pope (not ‘a’, you idiot) walks into a bookstore to look for a book about Catholicism, because he doesn’t understand any of his followers, but before he can make it to the section oddly marked “religion”, he is distracted by a sharp sound from the back of the store. When he goes to investigate, he finds a large cage with a fluffy, bouncy rabbit inside, and a sign atop the cage that reads, “Cadbury Rabbit, Bookstore Bunny”. The Pope smiles and leans to the cage and says to the rabbit, “Hello there, little rabbit. I am the Pope. How are you today?” To which, the rabbit bounds in a quick circle, stomps a foot in a loud thump, stares at the Pope, and says, “Nom, nom.” The end, joke over. A POPE AND A RABBIT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Do you get paid to come up with these questions or did you pawn it off on an 8-year old?

BGB: How freakin’ awesome is your publicist?

ZS:Question #7 may answer that better than I can. It’s very difficult to answer this question though, now that Anointed has completely redefined what is understood to be “awesome” and taken over its use entirely. I suppose I can say that my publicist is less than Anointed, more Anointed than “awesome” (in its former form), but not as Anointed as my book minus me. Hope that helps.

Anointed: The Passion Of Timmy Christ, CEO is officially available only at the launch party on Saturday, Feb 21st at Wordsmiths Books in Decatur, GA, and will then be available at your local library for free reading on March 3rd. Ask for it by name.

Authors, Books, Happenings, Interviews | Russ Marshalek | February 19, 2009 11:52 am

7 Comments

By Lucy, February 19, 2009 @ 12:01 pm

What insightful answers!
By Barbara Friend Ish, February 19, 2009 @ 12:21 pm

I am dismayed by this whole thing, as is usual for any venture involving Zach and Russ. I can’t believe Zach said it would take me a while to figure out how I’d been ripped off! Sure, I was swayed by the general cuteness of both Zach and Russ, but I’m not *that* dumb…

Jeez, all you have to know is what I said on the blurbs page for Anointed:

What the hell was I thinking???

The Publisher
By Shaft, February 19, 2009 @ 12:46 pm

Did Tim personally rub the anointment on you?
By Alice, February 19, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

No, but I’ll bet he would for the proper fee…