We’re going to start this week off by giving away some free books. This Wednesday night, June 27, author Anthony Winkler will be reading from his book The Lunatic at Wordsmiths Books in Decatur. It’s free, and it starts at 7. Author Karin Gillespie will also be reading. So it’s a 2-for-1 deal. If you haven’t checked out the store yet, this would be a good excuse to get down there.
Wordsmiths have given us two of Winkler’s books, which will be signed for you by the author, to give away to one of our readers. Winkler is reportedly very, very funny, so here’s our contest: Tell us a joke in the comments to be entered. L’il Cayenne draws a name from a hat on Wednesday. Winner need not be present.
Here’s a joke to tell your geologist friends:
A geologist walks up to a river and says, “I feel very strongly that
your bottom is composed of dirt, silt, small rocks, bits of dead
animals, and other particulate inorganic matter.”
The river replies, “Yes, those are my sediments exactly.
June 25th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Oddly enough, just last night I had a dream in which I messed up while telling a joke I had written. Here’s the joke (which I came up with about 20 years ago while awake):
Franz Kafka walks into a bar and orders a dry martini. The bartender asks, “Do you want that with an olive or a twist?”
And Kafka says, “I choose despair.”
June 25th, 2007 at 8:24 am
it’s also important to note that Winkler is very, very dirty (my media training tells me I’m to say “ribald”, but that’s not as much fun)
my favorite joke ever, which doesn’t translate to type well, is:
knock knock
who’s there?
interrupting cow
etc
June 25th, 2007 at 9:23 am
The cover of his book The Lunatic is scandalous in that Georgia O’Keefe/what am I looking at kind of way.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think that the second one would have ducked.
June 25th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Cayenne:
yeah, the lunatic is totally scandalous. and it’s currently greeting customers as they walk in in a massively blown-up form.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Any joke I know is not suitable to print.
Why?
Because I always foul up the punch line.
(But I’m enjoying those I’m reading here.)
June 25th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
i couldn’t resist posting my favorite bad joke ever — it’s one of those old chestnut ones that your dad tells to your friends when you’re in middle school and embarrasses the hell out of you:
mama tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato are walking down the street. baby tomato starts to fall behind; daddy tomato notices, turns around, and yells: “ketchup!”
tee hee … i know. i don’t deserve to win. but as i mentioned, i just couldn’t resist.
June 25th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
[...] There are two do-not-miss events going on here at Wordsmiths Books this week. The first is this Wednesday, June 27th, and features local treasure Karin Gillespie, the author of the slice-of-the-south Bottom Dollar books (as well as a must-read blog), and hysterical Jamaican icon Anthony Winkler (and, when I say “icon”, I mean icon: Dog War is amazing, The Lunatic is a classic). This is going to be a hilarious riot of a night, and the sort of thing that’s too good to be free-but it is. Fun starts at 7 P.M., and we’ve again teamed with our friends at Baby Got Books to give away a set of books. If’n ya wanna read but not dish out the cash, you should check their contest. [...]
June 25th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
OK, I’ll bite, even though I can’t attend the events… uh, being in Massachusetts and all…
~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why was the archaeologist crying?
A: Because her career was in ruins.
~~~~~~~~~
Russ — gotta second the interrupting cow vote for best of all time. But then seven-year-old humor has been my thing since I was about ten years old. Seven, I mean SEVEN!!
June 26th, 2007 at 9:14 am
A man walks along the street and comes upon another man standing with a dog sitting at his feet.
Man one says to man two, “Does your dog bite?” Man two says, “No, my dog does not bite.” So man one reaches down to pet the dog. The dog proceeds to bite him. Man one says, “Hey, I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite.” Man two looks down at the dog and says, “That’s not my dog.”
June 26th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Pedro is showing a tourist around his small town in Spain. “Do you see that church?” he asks. “I built it myself. Quarried the stone, mixed the mortar, designed and built the whole thing myself. But do they call me Pedro the Mason? No.”
They walk on.
“Do you see these houses? I built them all by my lonesome. Sawed down the trees, cut the boards, and hammered the nails. But do they call me Pedro the Carpenter? Hell, no.”
They walk on.
“Do you see this hospital? I’m responsible for it. Me. No one else. I raised all the money for it myself. But do they call me Pedro the Philanthropist? Of course not.”
“But you fuck one goat…”
June 26th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Why did the man rob the Louve?
He needed the monet to buy the degas to make the vangoe.